How to manage your Stress So that It does not manage You

Who doesn’t love to set a record? Especially records that demonstrate us outpacing our best selves, being better and stronger than we were before, or accomplishing more than we ever had.

This morning was record-breaking: I had seven appointments in just two hours. This shattered my previous record of five overlapping meetings. I never felt more popular and keener to hide away simultaneously. I noticed my hectic calendar returning from the holiday break and felt my dormant stress level come back to life as I tried to devise creative ways to solve this complex matter. Something had to give – and it wasn’t my sanity.

As a human resources professional, one of my areas of expertise is coaching people through scenarios such as these. However, I am aware of my limitations, and unless I manage my stress, I can never effectively help others manage theirs. Here is what I do to manage my stress and not let it manage me.

Compassion

I start with being kind to Me. Self-compassion fuels my soul, helps me connect better and establishes trust in my abilities to overcome obstacles or know who to contact for help. And it’s ok to ask for help.

Organization

I make to-do lists at the beginning of every day and add to these as the day goes on, ensuring I prioritize what I may have missed for the next day. This creates for me a sense of focus and being in control. The satisfaction of checking off one more item helps me feel accomplished and reminds me that I am making progress, even when all evidence points to the contrary.

Focus

As appealing as it may feel to do many things simultaneously, I prefer focusing on one task at a time. It helps to remove distractions, like muting notifications, setting my status to Do Not Disturb, and silencing calls. I keep these periods short, like sprints, so I am still accessible and not absent for an extended time.

Reflection

I block out time mid-day and later to reflect on my time and what is ahead. I equate this to a long car ride and pulling to a rest stop to stretch and refuel. I am allowing myself to grab a snack, move around, refill my water bottle, and reprioritize my to-do list as needed.

Boundaries

Earlier, I mentioned it is okay to ask for help. In fact, asking for help presents an ideal opportunity to reciprocate by returning the favor, which can foster relationships and build your network. It is also ok to question things or say no. Be curious but polite about the purpose of a meeting or the reason for another Excel spreadsheet. And saying “no” is respectful to you, your time, and the other person. You avoid burnout and burning relationships when you make yourself too vulnerable to people taking advantage of you (and your kindness).

Delegate

I have learned that people love two things: when they can do what they enjoy and when they get a chance to develop their skills. I do my best to make both happen, working with my peers and colleagues, leveraging their strengths and interests, or creating opportunities for them that increase their visibility and add to their growth through learning.

Balance

Exercising is important to me. It is the kindness I show my body. I recently switched from kickboxing to hot isometric workouts because I realized I needed a change of pace and something to slow me down. Now, I am incorporating relaxation techniques into my exercises and recalibrating while building strength and stamina. This varies from person to person, so I would encourage you to find your own balance and not be afraid to try new things.

And finally, Celebrate

Celebrate yourself and others. A good day for me is when I have made a difference. If I cannot add value, then in my mind, I am stripping value away. I look for this and never miss an opportunity to give a shout-out or a heartfelt thank you to my colleagues, who work as equally hard, if not harder. Accomplishments are there. Be purposeful in finding them.